I Was There

Alex Mascarenhas's picture


I was passive and I was aggressive
I heard the bell tolling, yet I didn’t see it coming
I merely witnessed it, and I was the victim, and I was the perpetrator
It wasn’t some unknown stranger’s tale – it happened to me, near me, to my brethren
I was someone’s champion, and I wussed out; I was cowardly, and I took the bullet intended for my kin
I took abuse from inept persons, and I was undeserving of praises I received
I choked on my words, and I strangled someone else’s
She told me off, and I yelled over her cries
I didn’t glimpse it, I grasped it
I bled and I drew blood
I lied, and I laid it on the line
I was the joke, and I myself laughed at it
I didn’t hear the story – I have it branded on my skin
I loved hard; I was soft on my foes; I punished the ones who held me dear
She screamed her devotion, and I put a bullet in her lips, another in her heart, and a third one in my soul
I was mute to suffering, I was blind to love and I also tasted it, I smelled my own fear
I failed to take that plunge as the dagger was plunged in deep
I was tone-deaf, and I danced to my own tune
I kissed, I sniffed, I fucked, I cried
I died a little, I lived a lot,
and I vice-versa'd it

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