For Shame

Coarse, white sands

Swallowed occasionally by salty, crystal waters

Sky the lightening apricot of the pensive sunset

Ravishing prints like those of a migrating turtle

Left in the ground by the chocolate strands of my mother’s hair

The delicate curve of her skull

The scant taper of her arms

The massive arch of her buttocks

The inch-deep footsteps of her children alongside her defunct body

As they drag her closer and closer to the shore

My father is staring at me

Making me loathe my transient amnesia

More and more each second

Sky’s getting darker

Seagulls seem daft

Their screaming fills my ears

Like the apprehensive wail of my mother

When I watched her scarlet blood dash from the knife wound

Race across my arms and into the fabric of her white, silk blouse

In the heart

Ground’s getting cooler

Shore seems

A thousand miles away

The look into my father’s eyes when I slit his throat

Blood rained down skin like tears of one who’s lost their only love

I felt chills of judgment

Not looking at me, but my soul

Let the water engulf the naked forms

Relief at last

Father was so heavy

Little sister runs out

Toes splashing against the foam of the tide

And with her four-year-old fingers

Closes her father’s eyes at last

Does he see our faces? Does he see Satan?

Does he see white galaxies

Spaced apart on a canvas of midnight

Drifting closer and closer to the never-lasting sun?

Death says it’s nice to see him again

Mother’s gone peacefully back to the place from whence she came

She’s with the one she loved all her life

Watching my father’s every move over her shoulder

Sipping jade juice

Smoking a cigarette made of fallen angel wings

With eyes closed—oblivious

Holding a flaming Venus rapaciously in her palm