Do you remember " let's talk" ???
perhaps I was seated on the toilet ranting
I think I was trying to say something…
I wanted to ask you if it is real…
You were laughing… it was funny… no sense was made
Maybe I wanted to say this:
Do I really love?
Why do you want me?
Do you want me?
How do you want me?
Am I just a FUCK?
Take that object off your finger
My brain reacts to it negatively
Do you believe in it?
Is it real?
I hate that fucking thing…
Remember nothing of this has ever been stated.
I couldn't.
I am a coward sometimes.
I don't want to be… believe me.
I have pride
poke and poke and poke…
until the balloon sweats
droplets of fear and lust and pain streak my face
I struggle to emote… like always
pull it out of myself… it should be easy.. but it's not
If you leave where will I fit?
If I fit when will you leave?
Will we embrace with reality?
I wish this was a story, one with twists and turns and upheavals
it's a walked path I think
footprints ahead of me reveal mistaken routes
or do they?
I know the route to your center, to your twitching writhing secretions
the sounds of you and I connecting…
perhaps I am a fool… I think I am
I constantly prove it to myself
nonetheless I am lost…
My brains split in two
to, two, too…