Uproar in Diritania

From early that morning, the people of Diritania, a small country, had been waiting anxiously for the Defence Minister’s press conference to begin. Justin Catford had announced in advance that his statement would be of an emergency nature.

The fear and panic among the population stemmed from the fact that Diritania was entirely surrounded by states hostile to it, and people imagined grave dangers behind the forthcoming emergency announcement. Some even began stocking up on food, fearing that after the press conference crowds would rush to the shops and start preparing for a prolonged blockade, a coup d’état, or some similar threat.

The entire state sector was on edge as well. Catford was regarded as a calm and level-headed Defence Minister: he enjoyed considerable authority in political circles, and everyone understood that he would not call an emergency press conference without good reason.

By twelve noon local time, representatives of almost every registered media outlet in the country, members of the non-governmental sector, politicians, and other interested parties had gathered outside the Defence Minister’s office. At exactly twelve, the door opened and the minister declared the press conference open. Naturally, every television channel was broadcasting it live, while the country’s population waited tensely for the minister’s statement.

“My dear fellow citizens,” Catford began gravely, looking over the tense faces in the room. “I wish to announce that, as of today, I refuse to perform my duties as Defence Minister until the condition I have set is fulfilled by the law-enforcement authorities!”

The minister paused meaningfully.

The statement sent shock waves through the country.

“What does he mean, he refuses to perform his duties?! The country is surrounded by enemies… Who is going to defend us if something happens?”

“And what is the reason? Is a coup being prepared?”

“Is some country planning to invade our territory, and we don’t have enough strength to deal with it?”

“Could there be some major corrupt deal going on in the government, with the President involved as well, and the minister is about to name those responsible?”

Consumed by such suspicions, people waited impatiently for the minister to reveal the condition he had set.

Catford let out a heavy sigh and continued:

“The fact is that about a month ago my beloved cat fell ill, and I took it to one of the veterinary clinics for treatment…”

The eyes of those seated in the room widened in astonishment.

“Because of the animal’s serious condition, the veterinarian decided that emergency surgery was necessary. I waited two hours for the operation to end, and then I was told that after the surgery the cat had suddenly jumped off the operating table and run out of the clinic!”

The President, of course, was watching the press conference live from his office. At this statement, his jaw dropped and his mouth remained open.

“I am deeply convinced that, because of the veterinarian’s incompetence, my animal was killed during the operation, and that the story about its escape was simply invented to get rid of me,” Catford continued. “After several days of searching for the animal in vain, I immediately appealed to the prosecutor’s office and the city court to have proceedings brought against the veterinarian. The court, however, refused to hear the case for lack of evidence.”

The minister sighed heavily once again and came to his main point:

“My entire family and, naturally, I myself have been completely devastated by what happened. I therefore declare that until the aforementioned veterinarian is detained, tried, and held accountable for the crime committed, I will no longer be able to perform my duties as Defence Minister!”

Catford paused briefly and added:

“I am a law-abiding man. I now expect concrete action from the state. I do not intend to answer journalists’ questions, because I have nothing more to say.”

Catford quickly opened the door behind his office and disappeared through it, leaving behind a roomful of stunned people and an astonished nation.

For several seconds after the minister left the press conference, a deathly silence hung over the room. Those present stared at one another in bewilderment and shrugged. They had no idea how they were supposed to react. The minister’s sudden disappearance left the journalists utterly confused: they no longer knew whom to question, or indeed what conclusion to draw from the shocking press conference.

Most curious of all was that the veterinarian Catford was accusing, was watching the minister’s press conference from his own office at the clinic and had no idea that the cat’s owner was the Defence Minister. Catford was not in the habit of using his position to obtain personal privileges. He had taken the cat to the clinic like any ordinary citizen and had not even met the clinic’s chief veterinarian in person.

When the minister named him publicly at the press conference, accused him of killing the animal, and demanded his detention, the veterinarian’s eyes nearly popped out of his head and he almost fell off his chair. He realised that, quite unexpectedly, he had landed in unimaginable trouble.

The first reaction to the press conference came that very evening, when representatives of almost every opposition party in the country gathered outside the Ministry of Defence and demanded the minister’s immediate resignation.

“What cat? What veterinarian? The country is surrounded by enemies! Is this the sort of tender-hearted Defence Minister a country should have?! Let him go and set up an animal-rights NGO — what business does he have being Defence Minister?! You might as well appoint a clergyman as Defence Minister!” the protesters raged.

Later, other members of the public joined them, and the demonstration began to take on serious proportions.

Furious, the President called the Defence Minister that same evening and demanded an explanation:

“Tell me what is going on! If you had a problem, why didn’t you come to me and bring me up to date? And what kind of ridiculous problem is this anyway?! Weren’t you ashamed to make an issue like this public, holding the office you do?!”

“If a minister has a problem, the law should protect him, not the President,” Catford replied. “And the fact that you consider this problem ridiculous is already a tragedy for the country! I have stated my demands. The rest is up to you.”

With that, Catford cut the President short and hung up.

The following day, however, events took an entirely different turn. Human-rights organisations entered the fray — representatives of both the state and non-governmental sectors. Naturally, animal-rights organisations joined them. They organised joint marches through the city streets, took part in television debates, gave interviews to various television channels and news outlets, and vigorously made their position known.

Their position was this:

“Can anyone explain what this man has done wrong? Because he is Defence Minister, was he supposed to get up and kill the veterinarian? Is it somehow shameful for a Defence Minister to go to court, or is he supposed to enjoy special privileges in this country?! He believed his rights had been violated and chose to defend them through the courts — what is wrong with that? Do you even understand what you are encouraging senior officials to do by condemning him for acting this way?!”

The animal-rights activists, meanwhile, were in an uproar of their own:

“What do you imagine a Defence Minister is supposed to be like as a human being? Because he is Defence Minister, must he walk around his own home with an assault rifle, firing bullets?! Is he not entitled to human feelings and emotions, or to love animals?! He is a minister at work; in his private life he has every right to stroke an animal and do as he pleases. And anyway, what do you think — is loving animals something to be ashamed of?!”

Matters went so far, and such chaos engulfed the country, that the President was forced to convene an emergency meeting of the government.

Before the government meeting could even begin, the opposition parties launched large-scale rallies and demonstrations. At the latest protest, speakers were already declaring loudly that ultimate responsibility for the political crisis lay with the President and that his resignation should now be placed on the agenda.

This seriously alarmed the President. He arrived at the emergency government meeting in a fury, announced his decision to dismiss the Defence Minister, and demanded that the matter be submitted to Parliament as a matter of urgency.

Before Parliament could meet, however, public sentiment shifted unexpectedly. First on television, then in the streets, voices in support of Catford were heard more and more often. The minister, who only a short while earlier had been accused of irresponsibility, suddenly came to be seen by many as an honest man being victimised by the authorities.

The number of Catford’s supporters rose sharply, and the demonstrations became a regular occurrence. Protesters began carrying slogans at the rallies:

“Today, we are all Catfords!”

“Catford is the face of the ordinary honest citizen!”

“We have cats at home too, and we know what it means to love them!”

“You are the ones who don’t understand ordinary people!”

Catford’s supporters also accused the veterinary clinic and its management of irresponsibility. Large crowds gathered outside the clinic, shouting:

“What do you mean, you lost a cat from an operating table?! If we bring our animals here for treatment, is this how you are going to treat us too?!”

“Is the clinic’s chief veterinarian a vet or a magician?!”

“If you don’t have enough staff to keep animals safe, then get out of the business altogether! Who gave you a licence to open a veterinary clinic in the first place?!”

Journalists also descended on the clinic’s reception area in search of interviews, and the veterinarian, bewildered by the entire uproar, no longer knew where to hide. The only thing he kept repeating to reporters was that he had lied about nothing and that the cat really had disappeared from the operating table.

Naturally, all of this badly damaged the clinic’s reputation, and people began avoiding taking their animals there for treatment.

And so the clinic was left without animals — but surrounded instead by protesters and journalists.

The specially convened session of Parliament began. As expected, the President asked to speak at the very start of the sitting and set out his position firmly:

“My friends, members of Parliament, I believe we are all outraged by the conduct of the Defence Minister, Justin Catford! Instead of focusing on the country’s external threats and its defence, it seems he has no time for such matters and is busy defending animal rights. I am therefore dismissing him from office and, in accordance with the law, submitting that decision to Parliament for approval. I ask you to support me!” the President declared before leaving the rostrum.

Forty per cent of the members of Parliament represented the opposition, and the President expected them to support his decision unanimously as well.

Before the vote, the chair of the Human Rights Committee asked to speak. He had been nominated to the post by the opposition.

“My position is this: public sympathy for Justin Catford has grown because, in truth, he has done nothing wrong. He was treated unjustly and his rights were grossly violated. Instead of abusing his high office and resorting to personal retaliation, he turned to the courts; and when his demands were ignored, he called on the state to intervene and protect his rights. If we dismiss a minister for conduct like this, then we must ask ourselves: what hope does an ordinary citizen have in this country at all?! We therefore believe that removing the minister on unjustified grounds would have disastrous consequences for the state.”

Before the vote, representatives of the opposition parties expressed similar views, as did several members of the governing camp, which drove the President almost out of his mind.

In the end, the vote was held late that day, and sixty per cent of the members of Parliament voted against dismissing the Defence Minister. The President’s proposal was defeated, a result that in itself already threatened a government crisis.

The moment the parliamentary session ended, an army of journalists descended on the Defence Minister’s home with one main question:

“Mr Catford, you are still the Defence Minister. Will you return to the ministry?”

“I do not change my position that easily,” Catford said sternly. “What — has the veterinarian been detained? Why should I return? Until my demand is met, I am not going anywhere!”

News of this absurd situation naturally spread beyond the country’s borders. The armed forces of one of the states hostile to Diritania began moving actively near the border, which boded nothing good for the people of Diritania.

Matters reached the point where the President, no longer knowing what to do to calm the population and bring the political crisis to an end, ordered the veterinarian detained. That same evening, the unfortunate man was taken away with his arms twisted behind his back and brought to the police station to give a statement.

After this, Catford was forced to return to the ministry and attend to the country’s defence. The situation at the border had become extremely tense, and if he continued digging in his heels indefinitely, he would begin to look altogether too irresponsible — both the public and the government would accuse him of neglecting his duty.

At first glance, the President seemed to have found a way out, but the veterinarian’s detention turned the apparently stabilised situation upside down all over again.

Now lawyers, legal professionals, and other representatives of the legal world entered the fray and unleashed a new wave of protest across the country.

“Why was the veterinarian detained? There is no evidence whatsoever that he committed any crime!”

“Was the Defence Minister’s whim enough to have him locked up?!”

“If tomorrow one of us takes an irrational dislike to somebody for no reason, will the authorities arrest that person for us too?!”

“Produce the evidence immediately — on what grounds did you detain the veterinarian?! Do you even understand what this kind of lawlessness will do to the country?!”

The lawyers’ protests were joined by people who had initially been critical of Catford, and the demonstrations erupted with renewed force.

Lawyers offered the detained veterinarian free legal assistance, making matters even more difficult for the authorities: with the case attracting so much public attention, keeping him in custody without evidence would be extremely difficult.

Every television news bulletin opened with the story of Catford and the veterinarian, while the front pages of the newspapers were covered with their photographs. A country that only a short while earlier had had countless other problems now seemed to be searching for the answer to just one question — where had the cat gone?

The situation was made even worse by the fact that, on the same evening, both a rally in support of the veterinarian and a demonstration by Catford’s supporters were scheduled to take place in the capital’s main square.

Complete chaos broke out. Shouts, slogans, and protesters from the opposing camps became hopelessly mixed together. Within minutes, it was difficult to tell who was shouting in defence of Catford and who in defence of the veterinarian. By the end of the day, the war of words had turned into a fistfight — they smashed one another’s banners and placards and were no longer shy about using their fists.

The authorities were forced to deploy additional police units in the streets to maintain peace and order.

There seemed to be no way out of the situation.

At an urgently scheduled court hearing, the veterinarian now stated categorically that the cat’s operation had been successful and that the surgery was already over when the animal disappeared from the operating table. His account was confirmed by clinic employees whom the judge summoned to testify at the hearing.

“Find the cat! Find out where it is!” the veterinarian cried desperately at the end of the hearing. “Find it and this madness will end! And perhaps then you’ll finally leave me alone!”

The authorities thought the veterinarian’s suggestion made sense.

The President summoned the head of the city’s Animal Monitoring Service to his office and ordered him to find the cat at once. Catford was asked to provide photographs of the animal so that it could be identified.

For three days, employees of the monitoring service searched for Catford’s cat, but found no trace of it. They turned the entire neighbourhood around the veterinary clinic upside down — to no avail.

One month after the Defence Minister’s press conference, this was the state of the country:

The population of the capital was divided into two camps, confronting one another daily in the streets, parks, neighbourhoods, and on television and radio debates. The city police guarded the central districts under heightened security to prevent yet another clash between citizens.

To secure the state border, Catford, now back at the ministry, ordered a special mobilisation and concentrated border troops along the entire frontier.

The veterinarian was still being detained, while lawyers from across the city were trying to secure his release from the temporary detention facility.

Employees of the Animal Monitoring Service spread across the entire city and searched day and night for the missing cat, because of which the country had come close to civil confrontation.

Journalists, naturally, continued to cover the events every day and, true to their profession, helped inflame the situation even further…

…And all the while, before any of this madness had begun, Catford’s cat had woken on the operating table, come out of the anaesthetic sooner than expected, spotted an open door, and bolted outside in fright.

After running for a long time, the cat spotted a private house on the outskirts of the city with a lush green garden and took refuge with the eighty-five-year-old woman who lived there.

The elderly woman, who lived alone, was delighted to take in her unexpected guest, and before long both of them were perfectly content.

Neither the cat knew what madness was raging across the country because of it, nor did the old woman have the slightest idea. She had not watched television for years and spent her time walking in the garden, listening to music, reading, and knitting.

“How wonderful that I took in this poor little stray,” the old woman thought, gently stroking the cat as it lay happily curled up in her lap.

Little did she know who was purring so peacefully and innocently beneath her weathered hands…

All it would take was for someone to discover where this “stray” cat was, and such an uproar would descend upon the poor woman that one would not wish it on one’s worst enemy.

But for the time being, neither the cat nor its new owner was in any danger.

The old woman gently stroked the cat, with no idea that the creature lying in her lap had turned an entire country upside down and brought it to the brink of civil war.